Perambulation

So the stage was set. I was to drive fifteen passenger vans through New York City, between the campus in the Bronx and in Manhattan. When I proudly announced this, friends who didn’t previously think I was crazy for going east thought I had lost it. I’m sure there were bets going on how long it’d be before I’d transfer back go a school closer to home.

In order to train and learn the ways of the road (That’s right ladies and gentlemen, he’s got jokes!!), the department offers a early arrival training program where new student employees are invited to come onto campus before school starts. As such, I showed up to the Bronx one week before the rest of my graduating class was set to move on and begin orienting themselves.

My mom’s best friend lives in New York. She grew up in the Bronx and now resides down near Grammercy Park. The two are …. Those two are a pair. Best friends of the highest kind. They’re inseparable and have even acquired the nickname “Lucy and Ethel.”

Ethel was kind enough to be there at the airport to pick up Lucy and I and help us schlep all my bags up to the Bronx. When we arrived on campus, my room that I was to live in for the school year was occupied by football players who were in preseason.

Hmm…. This was not good. Res Life wanted to give me a temporary room across campus and then make me move into my regular room when the football players finished with their business. I was then to move myself and all my crap across campus by myself. Lucy wasn’t having any of this. She went to inquire the status of the situation with director of Res Life. Needless to say, after the discussion, Lucy had “convinced” the director that I shouldn’t have to move in and then re-move myself by myself. My new room assignment happened to be in the oldest building on campus which was known for having the largest rooms. (Thanks Mom. You’re the greatest.)

So I started my move-in. Got all my bags in and unpacked. I thought I was set. Little did I realize that my room was lacking so much. Over the next couple of days, while I was learning the ins and the outs of the road ways, Lucy and Ethel visited every house ware, home supply, and fixture from Park Slope to White Plains. Man, I was I set. I had everything under the sun. I mean, I even got the calls from the cafeteria inquiring about my inventory, making sure they could call on me in times of emergency.

It was so great. I had the penthouse suite minus the top floor views. But it didn’t stop there. Lucy and Ethel constantly were thinking of more stuff that I needed. It was great but at a point…. Ugh.

“Hey! We forgot to get you something! Don’t you need tablecloths for when you have company over?”

“No.”

“You totally do! What if you have company over?”

“Uh, no. I don’t. This is a dorm room, not the Waldorf-Astoria.”

Needless to say, I didn’t get tablecloths.

Welcome to ‘Collegiately Speaking.’ Over the next 55 (53 by the time I post this?) days, I will recount some of my great college moments. I am going to skip around and write about whatever comes to time. In other words, there will be no semblance to a chronological order (except for the first several posts. I want to properly set the scene).

Okay, so with the necessary intros out of the way, where better to start than with freshman move-in?

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Moving from the West Coast to the East was a little nerve wracking. Many questions were buzzing through my head, including what the people were going to be like, if I was going to be accepted or cast away like a foreigner and what really were those things they called guidos? (As you can tell, academics weren’t exactly a major worry of mine. I figured they would just fall into line)

One way I thought I would be able to fit in and meet people is by getting a job. What would be so bad about that? I thought. At least I’d have some sort of steady income which would be great in funding my habits of helping old women across the street and going to church. I didn’t go job hunting per se, rather job hunting sought out me.

One day, while evaluating the pros and cons of Hebrew National Hot Dogs versus Nathan’s Best, I received a mailing from the school about jobs on campus. After looking through the information, one job in particular stood out.

“Come Drive in New York City!”

Dude, I thought. How cool would that be?!

I had filled out the form and within a half a day, I was gainfully employed driving 15-passenger vans between the Bronx and the Manhattan campuses. It sure beat digging ditches and I’d get to be driving in NYC. Could it get any better?! Little did I know that what I had just signed up for would become an integral part of my college experience.